Dear Nan,
You missed it! Today would have been your 90th birthday! The past 4 years feel like a life time with you gone. I was lucky to enjoy such a long time with you though and I'm grateful that you made our time so wonderful.
Because of you i found music and, although i don't play anymore, i feel you with me whenever i hear a track that i like. All those trips to the theatre stuck in my memory. They're special, just for us.
Without you and Grandad taking me around stately homes as a child i probably wouldn't have discovered my love of history. Therefore, i dedicate my degree to you. I know you were made up that i actually completed it after having my baby. And my little brother has followed in my footsteps. Your influence is still tangible.
All the beautiful places we visited and the knowledge you imparted led me to take A-level geography. Even my individual study was based around the development of Clennon Valley, which you were strongly opposed to. Do you remember?
Sadly, i did not inherit your artistic ability but, don't worry, my baby loves to be creative. Maybe that's you helping her. I hope so. We didn't let them sell your paintings Nan. They were so much a part of you it would have been wrong.
Now, looking back, i appreciate how you were there for all the sports days, musical performances and dance shows. Mom and Dad had to work, which i understand, but i needed, and relied upon, your presence and support back then. As you know, I've never been blessed with oodles of self-confidence.
Looking after pre-school me must have been a challenge. Thank you for having the patience to teach me how to read and write. I haven't stopped since. Oh, and educating me in scientific issues such as wind resistance - making Barbie parachutes from Grandad's pants was heaps of fun!
Yes, i know we spent hours in your gorgeous garden but the green finger has deserted me. I can imagine you finding it hilarious that i even managed to kill the littlun's 'cresshead' from school!
We were hit by the tail end of a hurricane recently which reminded me of the time we had a full-on hurricane here. Poor little 6 year old me was terrified! We all held hands across the playground and crowded into the music room. The teachers sang with us etc but when you came it was like you were a super hero coming to rescue us! Then we spent the afternoon making cakes at your house and i forgot to be scared. How did you always know just what to do?!
I took for granted that we went on holidays together. Ireland with all the family was brilliant but our holidays on our own were just the best.
Teneriffe was fun. Going to the water park and up Mount Teide. The volcano smelt awful and the ham sandwich was vile! Haha.
I loved Blackpool! The illuminations and the ice show were very special but the Lake District trip (Windemere?) and visiting a sweet factory were the highlights.
Jersey topped everything. The zoo was unbelievable! Learning the history of occupation in WW2 and walking around the underground hospital was just an epic experience. If you love all things past like i do. Of course we took advantage of the low jewellery prices and took a coach trip around the island. It was one of the most perfect moments in my life.
You cared for me during my pneumonia scare...
Were the first to congratulate me on my exam results...
Took me to my first job interview...
Always my first port of call.
During sixth form you helped me through the loss of my other Nan and at uni, when i was sad and homesick, your letters and presents brought a smile to my face and warmth inside.
When my family hated my partner you accepted and welcomed him into your life simply because i loved him. It meant the world to me. On learning i was pregnant you were happy and supportive and made me see that it would all be ok. All you wanted was for me to be content and looked after.
Even after you moved into the home i came for advice, support and just to chat. I was never once let down by you. Hopefully i gave you the same in return when you were sick and needed someone to care. It killed me inside to see you lost and poorly but i still treasure every moment we had.
There are times now when i want to tell or show you things for myself. Mostly i wish you could see more of my baby. She's so beautiful, clever and funny. It makes no sense that i could make something to precious. By remembering us right up until the end i know that you loved us both but she missed out knowing how inspiring and remarkable you really were.
You passed and i lost a friend. I lost the only person who was never once disappointed in me. You always showed such confidence that i would make the right decision. I want to be that person for my daughter.
All around the Rock Gardens today i felt closer to you. Did you see us Nan? How crazy were we eating ice-cream in the cold and wind?! Still the sun was out and it was our little tradition.
I love you. Always.
Vicki
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